can't sleep

I CAN'T SLEEP

for however long i waited on bed,eyes closed, blanket covering warming my body..

i can't sleep..naze??

i don't know particularly..when i closed my eyes..everything comes as freely as they are gone during the day..does that makes sense??..i think about the unthinkable future..i think about future conversation..i think about the unforgiven past..i think about A LOT of things..

WHY??..

i hope i found the answer..SOMEDAY..

i don't want to be a person who only thinks but never act..

so random..

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nuff said..i'm writing this so that the glaring light of this laptop would eventually caused me to feel sleepy..i know it's bad for my eyes..but i think it's working..my eyes hurts i just want to close them..

kyou wa..

i cut my hair short..just before i go back to auckland..my beloved city of boredom..3rd year of study..really scares me..the idea of working full time afterwards..really gives me goosebumps if u asked me..i don't have enough experience in the real world..my social life is a disaster..i'm too nervous being with people..especially people in the business industry..i have to think,give opinion,detect problem, so much faster..i have to listen to people,follow orders,endure torturing bosses..ugh! too scary to even imagine..the past two years hasn't really teach me anything to be someone that efficient..i play a lot..avoiding people..avoiding jobs..but all that had brought me nothing but an unprepared soul..i hate me sometimes..

However..

i have new hopes for this semester..

i wish it'll work out the way i wanted..