Optimistic Thursday

I'm hoping to stay optimistic bout the future after an emo day yesterday..Thus the blog title which is nothing related to this post..=p

k actually just nk post camwhoring photos kat sunway Piramid semalam..we went to shop for my engagement shoes..eh..no, my Fyza's engagement laa this saturday..i'm gonna be her dulang girl and i just realised in da morning that i dont have a proper shoe..thanks ema for teman-ing me..=D

i'm gonna wear the exact same outfit for the engagement day cuz apparently i don't have any other pink traditional wear =,= i look weird below btw cuz i cant see my expression clearly. but Ema's cute as always.. love her!

Hahahahah.. Muka Ema kena potong!!..hahahaha XD

Btw...Blogging while working is fun! I get so many working ideas when writing/reading blogs..hehehe..


Shhhh..Don't tell my boss!

Letting Go (for the i-dont-know-how-many time)

It's really time to let go..
Though i thought we can be normal/good friends..
We both still have feelings for each other..
and me for once, can't handle it..
i'm jealous..

i'm super jealous to be exact..
Hishh tak boleh la..
when he talks about his wife..
when he said he's going to Johor..
when he said he wish i can be his 2nd wife one day..
then something inside me snapped..
oh NO NO NO..
this is NOT HAPPENING!!!
I pray to Allah to pls not let this happen..
Tuhan tolong bimbing aku keluar dari jalan kesesatan ini..
tolong kuatkan hati utk melawan nafsu ini..

but i don't know how to do it.
ignore him completely?
still text him?
i don't know..
i really don't know..
i wish i can run away to Ipoh and stay there forever..
or i wish someone would take my hand, marry me, and bring me somewhere out of KL..
like penang ke..
not Johor, not KL..definitely not KL..

Argh!
Why it is so hard to wave goodbye??

All i want to say to him is..

I want to end this for good. Please respect my decision and don't text me..

But...
i've said my goodbyes so many times..
i've put down my white flags so many times..
still he came back..
still my heart dokidoki for him..

Maybe i don't pray hard enough..
Maybe i have not asked hard enough..

But O Allah..
This is my only intention..
to let him go..
pls let my jodoh be someone else..
i don't want to break a relationship..
especially a marriage..

Please Ya Allah..Please help your weak servant..

Herbalife Independent Distributor

Salam All,

I am proud to announce that i am now officially a HERBALIFE INDEPENDENT DISTRIBUTOR!

Located in Taman Desa, close to Mid Valley city, Bangsar, Petaling Jaya and Jalan Klang Lama.

Feel free to ask anything about Herbalife.

I'm working on being a wellness coach and currently on my journey to a healthier 55kg me!

Bismillah.....

Also, Salam Aidilfitri 2012 from me.. ;)

 Much love <3>

A Friend Date

Salam.

Dah sampai dah 10 hari terakhir ramadhan..

tup2..tkleh pose pulak..haha..

nevermind..
Alhamdulillah goal tercapai la jugak kecuali bace quran ngn bgun qiamullail..
aduhaii susahnyeee nak bgun n luangkn masa nak bce quran..
sahur pun kadang2 skip sbb penat sgt..
ape kehey la nadhirah.......
moge2 pas suci nnt dpt pertingkatkan lagi mutu ramadhanku..

hmm a lot of things in my mind recently..
many things happened which needs consideration..

but most recently i met him..gosh i missed him..but we're in good place now..as friends..
i love seeing him being this happy..
he lost quite some weight..dulu byk je makan i kacau him..hihi..
he just laughed with undescripable look in his eyes..
but..ape2 pun he looks happy..n that's most important to me..
me, i'm happy being in this friendship..regardless of what everyone will say..
cuz i was miserable not able to know how is he doing..

Dear God, let me love him from afar..
for his happy eyes and smile is my happiness..
the pain is somewhat bearable now..
for your love, God i will stand strong.

ni yg ktorg makan..

Nasi Kandar Kayu Ampang..
Sedap giler weh kuah die yet i cant finish it..sayang betol..

After makan we went to line up dkt Baskin Robbin..omigosh i shudve taken some pics of the line..
cray cray, mannn..
so we waited for around 7 mins then decided to go..its not worth it, just a scoop anyway..just RM7..takyah nak bazir masa beratur sgt laaaahhh..hahaha..

okeh once again some pics from my ramadhan so far..hehe..kenangannn...

berbuka dgn sabby after slimming sanctuary - redeem voucher slimming..tk tahannnn pastu mkn nasi goreng+chatime!!!! XD

biskut oreo black beauty yg blom dibakar..yg dh bakar dh abis ngap lupe nk snap pics..=p

resepi plg senang di dunia..tp sodapppp sgt!

hi this is Emma my best friends in office AKA my teammate..

p/s : weekend ni kena paksa HNSH change my header and template..so not me anymore..

ok baiiii~~~xoxo

Penat

i feel so bengong today..

my week is too tiring for words..

i'm praying for Allah to give me strengh..

mentally, spiritually and physically..

Few pics from Ramadhan 2012 so far~

Ramadhan 2012

Salam..

Sedar tak sedar..
Ramadhan kembali lagi..

So many things happened this past year..
Good things...
Bad things...
Happy things..
Sad things..
Tak tahu la dosa dah bertimbun banyak mana MashaAllah..

But ramadhan, like every year..
dpt jd tempat kita memperbaharui diri kita..
to be a better person insyaAllah..
bukan saje spiritually, but physically and mentally as well..

Ramai org kata..
Ramadhan tu sekolah..
Sekolah tempat kita menimba ilmu, menambah iman dan taqwa, belajar cara2 menewaskan nafsu dan beramal sebanyak mungkin..
Harap2 pada akhir ramadhan ni saya dpt jd graduan yg berjaya..
Harap2 bila berakhirnya ramadhan kali ini semua dosa2 dan kesalahan lalu takkan berulang lagi..

Azam saya untuk ramadhan kali ni
1) Khatam 30 Juzuk Al-Quran
2) Bangun Tahajud paling kurang 15 hari ramadhan
3) Untuk menutup aurat sebaiknya
4) Memperbaiki solat
5) Melawan rasa marah dan rasa dengki
6) Kurangkan gelak kuat dan tambahkan senyuman

Walaupun tak byk it's not because i think i'm perfect on other things..but i think small steps can lead to bigger and better life improvement..
If i can achieve all this in Ramadhan, insyaAllah i will try to improve myself in other things after Ramadhan.

This is a challenge to myself.

Dear Ramadhan,

I welcome you with the warmest greetings. A guest full with blessing and forgiveness. May this be your best visit InsyaAllah.

Selamat Menyambut Ramadhan Al Mubarak

Much love from me..

Dia

Dulu..
Ku sangka dialah cinta sejatiku..
Ku sangka dialah jodoh ku..

Namun kini aku mengerti..
Aku bukanlah cinta sejatinya..
Aku bukanlah jodohnya..

Aku harus belajar melupakannya..
Terima bahawa aku bukan lagi yang pertama dalam hatinya..
Segala pahit manis kan ku bawa bersama diriku menjalani hidup yang baru..

Tanpa cintanya..
Tanpa hadirnya dia..

Tiada satu malam tanpa tangisan mengingatinya..
Namun ku biarkan jiwaku meronta..
Kerna aku yakin hatiku kan jadi lebih kuat dan tabah selepas setiap tangisan.

Aku rela..
Kerna cinta adalah kebahagiaan..
Dan kebahagiaannya adalah kebahagiaanku..


"Nothing lasts forever, everthing is between a hello and a goodbye"

In loving memories (6.7.2011 - 17.6.2012)

Bonus!

Alhamdulillah..Bonus day!!
This my 1st bonus, so i'm really happy and thankful to Allah especially..
all the hard work pays..sufficient or not it's up to Allah to decide..
i'm just thankful i get any..:))

And.......

Effective 1st April..i'm gonna get promoted insyaAllah..

It is all going well..Alhamdulillah..

Promises to myself..

-I've got to work better and harder for next year bonus. I've to remind myself that I work for Allah, my family, myself..
- Be consistent in HL. Work for a healthier me.
- Get closer to Allah..

Recap on New Year Resolution (after 3 months)

1. To get higher salary job - Checked!(Alhamdulillah)

2. To lose weight to 55kg - Currently at 67kg, another 12kg!!!!!!! adoiii...how do i get so fat? lol..btw..i still have Apr-Dec (around 9 months 1.3kg per month) phewww quite tough but i must be consistent in eating healthy..portion control and consistency are key to losing weight..

3. To travel oversea - yet to plan..need to save first =.=

lil bit cheesiee

yesterday nite was a total cheesie day..ok, night.. dinner was..cheesi-ful!


it was my first time eating at a real italian restaurant..ITALIANIES, where food where made to share..believe me, their tagline was “So Much, So Good, So Share"..pretty much explains it all,don't u think? HOWEVER the portions for last nite for me, was actually pretty normal..i actually thought it's going to be sooo big,i was really afraid to order for dessert..but we did go to heaven..:D lets get to that later..


i ate classic carbonara (lunch size) which was normal fettucine with parmesan cream sause with slices of meat and mushroom..it's tasty enough for my liking so i gave it a B+..the sauce was very thick but lack of some more flavour i think..nonetheless,it was one of the best carbonara i've ever tasted!!


Next up is beef lasagna..i've only tasted a piece of it so not much to comment on..but the mozarella top, was very lovely..the crispiness and stickiness together creates a mouthful dish.nyumm..totally delish..but the lasagna itself was a bit dry for me..i crave for creamy lasagna and that dish was not enough for me..too bad..


last but not least.

the heavenly NY strawberry cheesecake..the best cake ever!the texture of the cake is so fine, i taste cheeseeee all over my mouth..i didnt taste no eggs,no cream,no milk whatsoever..just cheese..and together with the strawberry sauces, nothing beats this cake..seriously u have to go have a try..:)) and it looks just like the pic above..hee..i didn't manage to take any photos since we're so hungry and excited to see our food ;p A++


that was one of my memorable dinner ever..good food,good companion..
what else can you ask for?..

Watching her...

going away vs watching loved ones go..

i've felt both..

both are totally different..

going away, i'm all excited, happy and full of nervous-ness..

but watching my sis go beyond that gate..

can't help but feeling so proud of her..

so happy for her..

but at one point i feel like holding onto her, not letting go..

even though i know she's going to be fine..

she's my baby sister..

i'm not going to be near..

to protect her..

to watch her grow..

to support her..

to hold her close..

hopefully for less than a year

it hurts..

now i know how mommy n daddy feel like..

p/s to ieda,if you ever read this, don't cry k..

true love??

how do you know when it's your true love?

it's been bothering me,seriously..with few past relationships just blown into outer space to some unknown places,deeply buried under boxes of painful memories.it's been years since i experienced L-O-V-E. now i can't even recognize true love, or maybe i just stopped believing long time ago..either way, i'm deeply confused..

i've imagine my future..

how would i want them to be..BUT...

it's true after all, life is destined for us..it's supposed to NOT go as planned..

y am i suddenly talking about this?

cuz i just watched two crappy love movies today while being sick and lonely at home..

Valentine's day

When in Rome

it's crappy but it kept me thinking for a while..

even while watching planet 51 which is even crappier..ugh..

ok back to topic, well technically love is supposed to make you go ga-ga, feeling romantic all of sudden over..well maybe a stranger..

if in movies, you'll get to know them, had a great time,then u make out..bla3..there goes true love for ya..

but in reality, not so much..especially being a muslim ofcourse..

it still bothers me that i can't have any answers unless i find that out myself..

and i couldn't find that out myself when i'm so busy with work..

flirting here and there is not a good solution..

being fanatical about handsome guys is not the solution..

being so technical about how a hubby should be is ALSO, not a good solution..

so..what's the perfect solution to love then?

alright,that's just something to ponder anyway..

to me, the simplest answer i can find right now is,

if you don't go seeking for love, it'll come to you in a naturally pleasant way..

well, that's me and my so called philosophy..lol

good night folks! i'll leave you thinking about it..:)

KRU?

ok, crazy..

i don't know whether to apply or not..

someone ask me to apply for a spot in KRU Records management..Finance dept laa..hehe

just now,he gave me his friend's email.his friends works as finance manager or smthg...he seems persistent that i apply for it..

adoiii y suddenly meet this guy..

now headache..

cam best je..gaji byk..tp......................

knp bkn company lain????

Thank you,Arigato,kamsahamnida(?)

salam 9th ramadhan~!

just here to share this..

WHAT TIME IS IT???

..........................................2PM!!!!!

"THANK YOU"

btw,i'm having a great time guy hunting! lol..joking only larr..hehe..

......andddd..sumone offered me a job at KRU Records Management!!!! ngahahaha..believe me onot?? GILA i tell you..GILAAA!!! XDDD

It's me again

Salam Ramadhan~~~

Hey.

It's been a while huh..

just trying hard to keep my blog alive right now..hehe..

so so lazy to post EVERYtime i have things to be remembered about..LOL

to keep a decent memory while it's still in me..here a recap for what's going on in my life (this is solely for my keep anyway,i know no one reads my blog) ;p

this is in any way NOT in a timely order cuz i'll just write whatever POPs into my head right now.

1. It's ramadhan..Alhamdulillah..my resolution for this year is to rekindle my relationship with Quran..since i came back here from Auckland,our relationship had been..um..somewhat loose..so i pledge to read Quran or listen to Quran whenever i can..Yosh!

2. My Sis's departure to U.K is very near..it's almost confirmed..13th SEPT 2010..i'm so proud of her! she had been waiting for so long!! i know i'm gonna miss her sooooooo much!!!!!!!! we have been hanging out whenever she comes here to KL and i really appreciate those times.it's very short, but hey it's precious. Since she's an active blogger..i'll try to keep my blog alive as much as i can to keep in touch with her..hey..blogging is not bad..it's just NOT my thing..haha.

3. AKANISHI JIN's departure from KAT-TUN. it's not been confirmed but this REAPED and TORNED my heart to pieces, really..i still can't listen to KAT-TUN's songs without tears at the corner of my eyes. i know i'm being dramatic as it's irrelevant to real life but you don't know how much i LOVE them. i don't worship them but i love them. i know i'll still be supporting both sides like i did for 2PM but 2PM's and KAT-TUN's case is somewhat different..KAT-TUN was like my savior from sadness..it's crazy,really but they helped me go through my post-breakup depression phase really well with their personalities,song,fans..they're just the best..i still have no ideas of how it's gonna be when it's confirmed..sigh..

4. My boss said to me once.."we're planning to promote you to executive position"

i was like.."really?"....

.."yeah,so DON'T GO FIND ANOTHER JOB OK? DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT..haha"

..."um...yeahh haha..alright boss..thank you so much..when it is going to be?"..

.."if you maintain your performance,maybe it's going to be around sept? give us another 2 months to make it possible alright.."

..."ohh yeah boss, great! Thank you so much!"

.."alright you may continue your work,i have works to do as well..haha"

..."haha,ok2 thanks boss"...............

my head went blank and a smile widening across my face..:))

then it faded..OMG..DILEMA! another job with better pay or a permanent position???

then after weeks of torturing my heads..

i've decided..i'll stay for a while to increase my market demand..

good decision??bad decision?? hurmmmm..

5. August..nothing much going on..except i'm going for a guy hunting! LOL it sounds sexist but i think i finally NEED a man in my life!! HAHA..after almost 2 years being single and happy i started to worry about my lonely life..i have wonderful friends but none are more than just being friends. Those that i can share things with, and manja2 with..hehe..i remember for this 2 years, i've been running away from men..LOL..they're always ended up feeling rejected without telling how they felt about me..always there's a wall..a huge wall..i'll keep remember myself to still keep those walls still but make it thinner? haha..

for those who are interested my criteria are very simple:

you must maintain a decent religious life, have a dependable future, non-smoker, loyal, responsible, respectful, not a sexist, and have a good sense of humours..

...........but they are surprisingly hard to find..T.T

alrighty then..going to sleep..till next time..mata ne! oyasuminasai!

btw before i forget..

a shout-out to a dear friend..

MURNI I MISS YOUUU!!!!! ^_^

Kizuna

When the brand new you decided to follow the determination deep inside your heart,
I, unaware of anything, did not know to stay by your side

Only when I lost sight of you did I realized, far too late
Somewhere distant in my memory, I have let go of your hand

Even if we are separated, the dawn comes carrying light
I let my tears melt away, until my feelings are conveyed
I used to live my life in a rush, thinking that everything was for your sake
Even if we come to live on two different sides of the world, hold on to this eternal bond between us

If only I could turn the hands of time back to the sunset that day, back to that room,
to the moment when I could stop the words that fell from our lips

My heart remembered the day when you set out on your journey
to a place where I can't reach, and I come to bid you farewell

Even if we forget, somewhere along the road, the warmth of having met and fell in love with each other still exists
When we have traveled far and wide, there will come moments when we suddenly encounter those traces
The key to hope lies at the end of darkness,
so I simply place my trust in tomorrow

I keep painting my memory afresh with weaknesses, strengths, and scenery that I see

Even if we are separated, the dawn comes carrying light
I let my tears melt away, until my feelings are conveyed
I used to live my life in a rush, thinking that everything was for your sake
Even if we come to live on two different sides of the world, hold on to this eternal bond between us

I simply place my trust in tomorrow - FARAWAY (KAT-TUN)

dont you just feel helpless reading this lyrics?

i know i do..cuz i know just how that feels..

i have friends so far away and i've separated from the ones i trusted the most..

i even feel it for my sweet akame..sigh.miss them.

jin went to pursue his dream in LA while kame tours around Asia..

but their kizuna will be eternal..kanjite..

don't you just miss their smiles? i know i do..i love how kame looks at jinjin.

ano kizuna..will never break..

ok,about kizuna..

i'm so glad that i have a few friends (yes, only a few!) that i really feel really connected with..

even though we don't talk often, everyday i'll just miss them..i wish i can just meet them all at once but fml they don't really know each other and so damn busy.. they came into my life in different phases..school phase, fangirling phase, growing up phase..each and everyone of them deserve a gold star.they help me go through the edges of my life easier..i wish that i'll find more friends like them.. I LOVE THEM!!!!

another story, i hate my under eye bags!! dammit!!i look sleepy wth.

see what i mean? kacau lah! it cud be a cute pix. lol xcuse myself..but seriously!!!

tell me how to get rid of it!

change

i have a feeling my life is changing..
and i think it is a good change..
at the start of my days as a trainee..
it's been a nightmare..
but now it's getting better..

i'm now just focusing on learning things, people, and the corporate world..

ok now,just got back from ipoh..
just a normal weekend, going to mrsm ph..cah's so homesick like me..hihi..
today..ate with family at nasi lemak pusing..niceee..really nice..
then at noon,when straight back to kl since baba's going to sibu..

so tomorrow..yep another day at work..
stockcounting,updating reports..etc..

ok fine i'll shut up..
c yaa~^_^

April..

assalamualaikummmmmmmm~~

long time no see....ade ke org bca blog aku nih? hahaha..
i don't care if anyone's reading or not..
yup,they are mostly boring, mundane stuff i wrote..
and i write occasionally only..
when i feel like too..
yeah2 i know i did said i will write almost everyday..
but i just couldn't keep writing..
i'm just not a writer i guess..xD

alright..tonite i feel like writing stuff about my month..
this whole month..yes..
APRIL..

this month, i started my first job with touch n go sdn bhd..as a YES trainee..it stands for Young Executive Scheme where it trains fresh graduates like me into becoming an executive without starting from below..and yes.. it is more brutal i can say..
like for example if u start from below or a lower permanent post (with little money) u won't be getting so much work..
but for us YES trainee..we're so occupied with work from the very beginning..
i'm kind off shocked in the first week to be honest..
i'm not used to be in this situation..NOT being with your peers in your 1st day at a new place really sucks..i honestly don't know how to handle that..i didn't really mingle with older pple before..so i kept a distance which makes me very uncomfortable..yes i did made gestures, first move to a conversation but mostly it'll ended with a long pause and smile..and sometimes no smile at all..hurmm..what can i say..i'm not good at handling ppl that i just meet..it's just hard for me..i'll try working on that..
that's my first day or week..trying to get connected with ppl i'm working with..it's getting better now thankfully..but because of my busy work..it's not an easy thing to do..i want to keep showing how hardworking i am and at the same time having a good and easy conversation with everyone in the company..i'm still trying though..i still don't know many ppl..

within this month though..everything usually turns out the same..
same old mundane things..

work..
eat..
sleep..
occasional exercise..
watching tv..
surfing the net..
listening to music..

everyday i couldn't help but thinking what a boring life i have now..
i'm getting more boring each day..not that cheerful as i was in auckland or at home..
i don't blame it on my housemates..but yeah it's hard to be fun when everyone's at home tired and just wanna have quiet time..even if i wanna go out,i can't since i don't have car..and no one to go out with..most of my close friends are still studying..and they're busy studying for exam..and those who are working, too tired to even go out..sigh..

yesterday, i went out alone..to midvalley..watching movie alone,shopping alone..haha..like the times i was in auckland..but it's just not the same..as usual, i sat alone watching ppl..and it felt uncomfortable..even in my own home (Malaysia)..and i don't know why..maybe because everybody's the same as me? hurmm..

everyday i'll miss home even more..i'll miss auckland even more..my friends..my old life..
i know i should be enjoying a new work,new experience..but i don't know why is it so hard for me to do that..

i need something..some sparks in my life..
i haven't found that yet..
i wish i'll find it soon..
i hate living like this..

sigh..

p/s: pls don't think of this as i'm so terribly depressed with my life..no i'm not..i'm living a positive life everyday..thing just haven't work out for me yet..

p/s no 2: just to keep a record..in other weekends, i went to SPA exam which i didn't manage to complete seksyen A because of some idiot guy showing the wrong room..and the next weekend i went to attend my cousin's engagement..where i realized i didn't want an engagement ceremony..just the ring..so that the ceremony money (from the hantaran,kenduri bla3) can be saved and we'll spend it during the honeymoon..isn't that genius?? if i ever get married lah..haha..

NEW

Everything's so new to me right now..

new house..
new house mates..
new job..
new place..
new environment..

I guess i'm here to start my new life..
i know i won't be a smooth sailing for here..
but i'm here for another wild ride! :D :D :D

Hopefully everything's okay tomorrow..:D

Music Bank

wow since when plans don't turned out the way they're supposed to be huh?
when i seriously plan, and really commit to it..that's the time when ppl turn their back on me?
blahhh..nvm!!

on the sunny side,
KARA won today's music bank k-chart! woo hooooo!! love love love Lupin!

but the highlights of the night were Epik High and U-kiss..they seriously rock man!!!

here's a few of my fav perf tonight..





and ofcourse! ladies winner!

Rembau

salam..

i'm in rembau now. my beloved kampung~~
suka2. ^^
tp agak boring ah..i really don't know what to do since there's nothing interesting to do here..
the kids are asleep already..bored to death seriously..
mummy's marking her test..baba upstairs tktau buat apa..
akmal's bored too..lol poor thing..forced to come here..XD
aisyah, surprisingly..is asleep..so early..

i wanna play with the cat..but arggghh i'm allergic to cats!!
stupid allergy!!
once i approach and hold the cat,

AHCHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

BENGONG BTOL!!

my dream of owning a cat crash just like that..
we used to have cats as pets..but my last cat just disappear suddenly..huhu..
then after those years whenever i approach cats i must be sneezing,inflammation, icchiness, redness..blaa3..
so yeahh i'm allergic..damn my weird immunisation! huhu..
I FREAKING LOVE CAT!

TT_________________TT

it's ok lah..i'll find a way to build up my immunity towards cats again..keke..