April..

assalamualaikummmmmmmm~~

long time no see....ade ke org bca blog aku nih? hahaha..
i don't care if anyone's reading or not..
yup,they are mostly boring, mundane stuff i wrote..
and i write occasionally only..
when i feel like too..
yeah2 i know i did said i will write almost everyday..
but i just couldn't keep writing..
i'm just not a writer i guess..xD

alright..tonite i feel like writing stuff about my month..
this whole month..yes..
APRIL..

this month, i started my first job with touch n go sdn bhd..as a YES trainee..it stands for Young Executive Scheme where it trains fresh graduates like me into becoming an executive without starting from below..and yes.. it is more brutal i can say..
like for example if u start from below or a lower permanent post (with little money) u won't be getting so much work..
but for us YES trainee..we're so occupied with work from the very beginning..
i'm kind off shocked in the first week to be honest..
i'm not used to be in this situation..NOT being with your peers in your 1st day at a new place really sucks..i honestly don't know how to handle that..i didn't really mingle with older pple before..so i kept a distance which makes me very uncomfortable..yes i did made gestures, first move to a conversation but mostly it'll ended with a long pause and smile..and sometimes no smile at all..hurmm..what can i say..i'm not good at handling ppl that i just meet..it's just hard for me..i'll try working on that..
that's my first day or week..trying to get connected with ppl i'm working with..it's getting better now thankfully..but because of my busy work..it's not an easy thing to do..i want to keep showing how hardworking i am and at the same time having a good and easy conversation with everyone in the company..i'm still trying though..i still don't know many ppl..

within this month though..everything usually turns out the same..
same old mundane things..

work..
eat..
sleep..
occasional exercise..
watching tv..
surfing the net..
listening to music..

everyday i couldn't help but thinking what a boring life i have now..
i'm getting more boring each day..not that cheerful as i was in auckland or at home..
i don't blame it on my housemates..but yeah it's hard to be fun when everyone's at home tired and just wanna have quiet time..even if i wanna go out,i can't since i don't have car..and no one to go out with..most of my close friends are still studying..and they're busy studying for exam..and those who are working, too tired to even go out..sigh..

yesterday, i went out alone..to midvalley..watching movie alone,shopping alone..haha..like the times i was in auckland..but it's just not the same..as usual, i sat alone watching ppl..and it felt uncomfortable..even in my own home (Malaysia)..and i don't know why..maybe because everybody's the same as me? hurmm..

everyday i'll miss home even more..i'll miss auckland even more..my friends..my old life..
i know i should be enjoying a new work,new experience..but i don't know why is it so hard for me to do that..

i need something..some sparks in my life..
i haven't found that yet..
i wish i'll find it soon..
i hate living like this..

sigh..

p/s: pls don't think of this as i'm so terribly depressed with my life..no i'm not..i'm living a positive life everyday..thing just haven't work out for me yet..

p/s no 2: just to keep a record..in other weekends, i went to SPA exam which i didn't manage to complete seksyen A because of some idiot guy showing the wrong room..and the next weekend i went to attend my cousin's engagement..where i realized i didn't want an engagement ceremony..just the ring..so that the ceremony money (from the hantaran,kenduri bla3) can be saved and we'll spend it during the honeymoon..isn't that genius?? if i ever get married lah..haha..