It's me again

Salam Ramadhan~~~

Hey.

It's been a while huh..

just trying hard to keep my blog alive right now..hehe..

so so lazy to post EVERYtime i have things to be remembered about..LOL

to keep a decent memory while it's still in me..here a recap for what's going on in my life (this is solely for my keep anyway,i know no one reads my blog) ;p

this is in any way NOT in a timely order cuz i'll just write whatever POPs into my head right now.

1. It's ramadhan..Alhamdulillah..my resolution for this year is to rekindle my relationship with Quran..since i came back here from Auckland,our relationship had been..um..somewhat loose..so i pledge to read Quran or listen to Quran whenever i can..Yosh!

2. My Sis's departure to U.K is very near..it's almost confirmed..13th SEPT 2010..i'm so proud of her! she had been waiting for so long!! i know i'm gonna miss her sooooooo much!!!!!!!! we have been hanging out whenever she comes here to KL and i really appreciate those times.it's very short, but hey it's precious. Since she's an active blogger..i'll try to keep my blog alive as much as i can to keep in touch with her..hey..blogging is not bad..it's just NOT my thing..haha.

3. AKANISHI JIN's departure from KAT-TUN. it's not been confirmed but this REAPED and TORNED my heart to pieces, really..i still can't listen to KAT-TUN's songs without tears at the corner of my eyes. i know i'm being dramatic as it's irrelevant to real life but you don't know how much i LOVE them. i don't worship them but i love them. i know i'll still be supporting both sides like i did for 2PM but 2PM's and KAT-TUN's case is somewhat different..KAT-TUN was like my savior from sadness..it's crazy,really but they helped me go through my post-breakup depression phase really well with their personalities,song,fans..they're just the best..i still have no ideas of how it's gonna be when it's confirmed..sigh..

4. My boss said to me once.."we're planning to promote you to executive position"

i was like.."really?"....

.."yeah,so DON'T GO FIND ANOTHER JOB OK? DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT..haha"

..."um...yeahh haha..alright boss..thank you so much..when it is going to be?"..

.."if you maintain your performance,maybe it's going to be around sept? give us another 2 months to make it possible alright.."

..."ohh yeah boss, great! Thank you so much!"

.."alright you may continue your work,i have works to do as well..haha"

..."haha,ok2 thanks boss"...............

my head went blank and a smile widening across my face..:))

then it faded..OMG..DILEMA! another job with better pay or a permanent position???

then after weeks of torturing my heads..

i've decided..i'll stay for a while to increase my market demand..

good decision??bad decision?? hurmmmm..

5. August..nothing much going on..except i'm going for a guy hunting! LOL it sounds sexist but i think i finally NEED a man in my life!! HAHA..after almost 2 years being single and happy i started to worry about my lonely life..i have wonderful friends but none are more than just being friends. Those that i can share things with, and manja2 with..hehe..i remember for this 2 years, i've been running away from men..LOL..they're always ended up feeling rejected without telling how they felt about me..always there's a wall..a huge wall..i'll keep remember myself to still keep those walls still but make it thinner? haha..

for those who are interested my criteria are very simple:

you must maintain a decent religious life, have a dependable future, non-smoker, loyal, responsible, respectful, not a sexist, and have a good sense of humours..

...........but they are surprisingly hard to find..T.T

alrighty then..going to sleep..till next time..mata ne! oyasuminasai!

btw before i forget..

a shout-out to a dear friend..

MURNI I MISS YOUUU!!!!! ^_^

Kizuna

When the brand new you decided to follow the determination deep inside your heart,
I, unaware of anything, did not know to stay by your side

Only when I lost sight of you did I realized, far too late
Somewhere distant in my memory, I have let go of your hand

Even if we are separated, the dawn comes carrying light
I let my tears melt away, until my feelings are conveyed
I used to live my life in a rush, thinking that everything was for your sake
Even if we come to live on two different sides of the world, hold on to this eternal bond between us

If only I could turn the hands of time back to the sunset that day, back to that room,
to the moment when I could stop the words that fell from our lips

My heart remembered the day when you set out on your journey
to a place where I can't reach, and I come to bid you farewell

Even if we forget, somewhere along the road, the warmth of having met and fell in love with each other still exists
When we have traveled far and wide, there will come moments when we suddenly encounter those traces
The key to hope lies at the end of darkness,
so I simply place my trust in tomorrow

I keep painting my memory afresh with weaknesses, strengths, and scenery that I see

Even if we are separated, the dawn comes carrying light
I let my tears melt away, until my feelings are conveyed
I used to live my life in a rush, thinking that everything was for your sake
Even if we come to live on two different sides of the world, hold on to this eternal bond between us

I simply place my trust in tomorrow - FARAWAY (KAT-TUN)

dont you just feel helpless reading this lyrics?

i know i do..cuz i know just how that feels..

i have friends so far away and i've separated from the ones i trusted the most..

i even feel it for my sweet akame..sigh.miss them.

jin went to pursue his dream in LA while kame tours around Asia..

but their kizuna will be eternal..kanjite..

don't you just miss their smiles? i know i do..i love how kame looks at jinjin.

ano kizuna..will never break..

ok,about kizuna..

i'm so glad that i have a few friends (yes, only a few!) that i really feel really connected with..

even though we don't talk often, everyday i'll just miss them..i wish i can just meet them all at once but fml they don't really know each other and so damn busy.. they came into my life in different phases..school phase, fangirling phase, growing up phase..each and everyone of them deserve a gold star.they help me go through the edges of my life easier..i wish that i'll find more friends like them.. I LOVE THEM!!!!

another story, i hate my under eye bags!! dammit!!i look sleepy wth.

see what i mean? kacau lah! it cud be a cute pix. lol xcuse myself..but seriously!!!

tell me how to get rid of it!

change

i have a feeling my life is changing..
and i think it is a good change..
at the start of my days as a trainee..
it's been a nightmare..
but now it's getting better..

i'm now just focusing on learning things, people, and the corporate world..

ok now,just got back from ipoh..
just a normal weekend, going to mrsm ph..cah's so homesick like me..hihi..
today..ate with family at nasi lemak pusing..niceee..really nice..
then at noon,when straight back to kl since baba's going to sibu..

so tomorrow..yep another day at work..
stockcounting,updating reports..etc..

ok fine i'll shut up..
c yaa~^_^

April..

assalamualaikummmmmmmm~~

long time no see....ade ke org bca blog aku nih? hahaha..
i don't care if anyone's reading or not..
yup,they are mostly boring, mundane stuff i wrote..
and i write occasionally only..
when i feel like too..
yeah2 i know i did said i will write almost everyday..
but i just couldn't keep writing..
i'm just not a writer i guess..xD

alright..tonite i feel like writing stuff about my month..
this whole month..yes..
APRIL..

this month, i started my first job with touch n go sdn bhd..as a YES trainee..it stands for Young Executive Scheme where it trains fresh graduates like me into becoming an executive without starting from below..and yes.. it is more brutal i can say..
like for example if u start from below or a lower permanent post (with little money) u won't be getting so much work..
but for us YES trainee..we're so occupied with work from the very beginning..
i'm kind off shocked in the first week to be honest..
i'm not used to be in this situation..NOT being with your peers in your 1st day at a new place really sucks..i honestly don't know how to handle that..i didn't really mingle with older pple before..so i kept a distance which makes me very uncomfortable..yes i did made gestures, first move to a conversation but mostly it'll ended with a long pause and smile..and sometimes no smile at all..hurmm..what can i say..i'm not good at handling ppl that i just meet..it's just hard for me..i'll try working on that..
that's my first day or week..trying to get connected with ppl i'm working with..it's getting better now thankfully..but because of my busy work..it's not an easy thing to do..i want to keep showing how hardworking i am and at the same time having a good and easy conversation with everyone in the company..i'm still trying though..i still don't know many ppl..

within this month though..everything usually turns out the same..
same old mundane things..

work..
eat..
sleep..
occasional exercise..
watching tv..
surfing the net..
listening to music..

everyday i couldn't help but thinking what a boring life i have now..
i'm getting more boring each day..not that cheerful as i was in auckland or at home..
i don't blame it on my housemates..but yeah it's hard to be fun when everyone's at home tired and just wanna have quiet time..even if i wanna go out,i can't since i don't have car..and no one to go out with..most of my close friends are still studying..and they're busy studying for exam..and those who are working, too tired to even go out..sigh..

yesterday, i went out alone..to midvalley..watching movie alone,shopping alone..haha..like the times i was in auckland..but it's just not the same..as usual, i sat alone watching ppl..and it felt uncomfortable..even in my own home (Malaysia)..and i don't know why..maybe because everybody's the same as me? hurmm..

everyday i'll miss home even more..i'll miss auckland even more..my friends..my old life..
i know i should be enjoying a new work,new experience..but i don't know why is it so hard for me to do that..

i need something..some sparks in my life..
i haven't found that yet..
i wish i'll find it soon..
i hate living like this..

sigh..

p/s: pls don't think of this as i'm so terribly depressed with my life..no i'm not..i'm living a positive life everyday..thing just haven't work out for me yet..

p/s no 2: just to keep a record..in other weekends, i went to SPA exam which i didn't manage to complete seksyen A because of some idiot guy showing the wrong room..and the next weekend i went to attend my cousin's engagement..where i realized i didn't want an engagement ceremony..just the ring..so that the ceremony money (from the hantaran,kenduri bla3) can be saved and we'll spend it during the honeymoon..isn't that genius?? if i ever get married lah..haha..

NEW

Everything's so new to me right now..

new house..
new house mates..
new job..
new place..
new environment..

I guess i'm here to start my new life..
i know i won't be a smooth sailing for here..
but i'm here for another wild ride! :D :D :D

Hopefully everything's okay tomorrow..:D

Music Bank

wow since when plans don't turned out the way they're supposed to be huh?
when i seriously plan, and really commit to it..that's the time when ppl turn their back on me?
blahhh..nvm!!

on the sunny side,
KARA won today's music bank k-chart! woo hooooo!! love love love Lupin!

but the highlights of the night were Epik High and U-kiss..they seriously rock man!!!

here's a few of my fav perf tonight..





and ofcourse! ladies winner!

Rembau

salam..

i'm in rembau now. my beloved kampung~~
suka2. ^^
tp agak boring ah..i really don't know what to do since there's nothing interesting to do here..
the kids are asleep already..bored to death seriously..
mummy's marking her test..baba upstairs tktau buat apa..
akmal's bored too..lol poor thing..forced to come here..XD
aisyah, surprisingly..is asleep..so early..

i wanna play with the cat..but arggghh i'm allergic to cats!!
stupid allergy!!
once i approach and hold the cat,

AHCHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

BENGONG BTOL!!

my dream of owning a cat crash just like that..
we used to have cats as pets..but my last cat just disappear suddenly..huhu..
then after those years whenever i approach cats i must be sneezing,inflammation, icchiness, redness..blaa3..
so yeahh i'm allergic..damn my weird immunisation! huhu..
I FREAKING LOVE CAT!

TT_________________TT

it's ok lah..i'll find a way to build up my immunity towards cats again..keke..