Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Letting Go (for the i-dont-know-how-many time)

It's really time to let go..
Though i thought we can be normal/good friends..
We both still have feelings for each other..
and me for once, can't handle it..
i'm jealous..

i'm super jealous to be exact..
Hishh tak boleh la..
when he talks about his wife..
when he said he's going to Johor..
when he said he wish i can be his 2nd wife one day..
then something inside me snapped..
oh NO NO NO..
this is NOT HAPPENING!!!
I pray to Allah to pls not let this happen..
Tuhan tolong bimbing aku keluar dari jalan kesesatan ini..
tolong kuatkan hati utk melawan nafsu ini..

but i don't know how to do it.
ignore him completely?
still text him?
i don't know..
i really don't know..
i wish i can run away to Ipoh and stay there forever..
or i wish someone would take my hand, marry me, and bring me somewhere out of KL..
like penang ke..
not Johor, not KL..definitely not KL..

Why it is so hard to wave goodbye??

All i want to say to him is..

I want to end this for good. Please respect my decision and don't text me..

i've said my goodbyes so many times..
i've put down my white flags so many times..
still he came back..
still my heart dokidoki for him..

Maybe i don't pray hard enough..
Maybe i have not asked hard enough..

But O Allah..
This is my only intention..
to let him go..
pls let my jodoh be someone else..
i don't want to break a relationship..
especially a marriage..

Please Ya Allah..Please help your weak servant..


  1. Just when he said he wished you could be his second wife.. He's proven that he's not worth it. If he really loves you, he would have wished you to be his first instead.

    And think about the wife too.

    May Allah help you along the way, insyaAllah :)

    -- Wishes from some random blog-hopper ;)

  2. Thanks Bella for the warm wishes..InsyaAllah..:)

  3. i'm sorry n feel regret dat i can't be near u, support u, console u when u need it the most. sorry diera hun ak dh lama x bukak blog. u're welcome to my hometown anytime when u need an escape. summore i'm also trying hard to find job near ur place, so dat we can be near like old times. ur grief is mine too. just dat i'm hoping to be with u, helping u to brush it away:)

    1. my dear..can't believe u commented in here. hehe..i miss u. really miss our time..dtg la keje sini..i hope u'll find one soon. u're welcome anytime to my home if u're coming here..;)

  4. i was in love with my ex too even after we have both moved on. it hurts so bad and wasnt even worth the suffering. be strong, time will help you forget but please give time, some time. :)

    1. Thanks nadd..i'm slowly moving on..congrats cuz u made it. inspired :)